When we turn ourselves down
Have you ever felt the need to dampen yourself down? To be less, to be smaller, to be the ‘good girl’ or ‘good boy’? Maybe you’ve tried to hide parts of yourself. 

We do this for many reasons. We want to belong, to fit in. We don’t want to make waves. We want others to feel comfortable. Or perhaps, at some point, we discovered that when we allowed ourselves to be fuller, bigger, louder or more intensely ourselves, it was met with disapproval.

Over time, this can become a pattern.

We learn to turn the volume down, sometimes so automatically that we don’t even notice we’re doing it. And eventually, we may find ourselves editing who we are even when there’s no need to.

Often, the people we’re dampening ourselves down around aren’t even aware that we’re doing it. They may have their own versions of the same pattern. And so, this isn’t about judgement or blame. It’s about awareness.

A very personal reminder
I’ve recently had a very personal reminder of this.

We recently had to say goodbye to our beautiful dog, Mocha. My heart feels quite broken by this, but alongside the grief, Mocha’s passing has also allowed a freedom.

Mocha suffered terribly with anxiety and was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. His anxiety was neurological rather than behavioural, but regardless of the cause, it had a significant impact on the way we lived. We learned to modify ourselves around him.

If I laughed, cried, sang, raised my voice in frustration or excitement, his anxiety was triggered and he would bark or run laps of the house. He was particularly sensitive to me, but responded similarly to others too.

He didn’t like more than one person behind the kitchen bench. He didn’t like me having someone in my office. He was extremely sensitive to sound, so even on walks I became conscious of helicopters, trailers, children’s voices and anything else that might cause him distress.

Mocha was a very gentle, very sweet dog. AND, living with his anxiety meant that we changed how we behaved. We accommodated his needs.

While the situation with Mocha was obviously more extreme than many of the situations in which we dampen ourselves down, it highlighted a pattern for me, a tendency to sometimes dampen down who I am in order to make others comfortable.

Definitely not all the time. Certainly not with everyone, but often enough.

This can feel paradoxical, because I consider myself to be quite authentic in how I show up, but sometimes I’m authentic with the volume turned down.

Adaptation or self-suppression?
This has me reflecting on the difference between adaptation and self-suppression.

We all adapt. We behave differently depending on where we are, who we’re with and what the situation requires. We might speak more quietly, hold back a reaction, or choose not to say something because it would be unhelpful or unkind.

That isn't necessarily being inauthentic.

The question is, am I choosing to adapt, or have I learned that I need to make myself smaller, to hold back, in order to keep others feeling comfortable?

There’s a big difference.

Whose comfort are we responsible for?
Perhaps another useful question is:
Whose comfort am I responsible for?
If my happiness makes someone uncomfortable, do I need to become less happy?
If my confidence makes someone uncomfortable, do I need to become less confident?
If expressing my needs inconveniences someone, do I need to have fewer needs?

Of course, this doesn't mean we get to behave however we like and dismiss the impact we have on others. Consideration, empathy and flexibility matter.

But there is a difference between considering someone else's feelings and taking responsibility for managing them.

Who is controlling the volume dial?
So, what do we do with all of this?

I think the first step is awareness. Then comes choice.

We can start noticing when we turn ourselves down, and asking:
Why am I doing this?
What am I afraid might happen if I don't?
Did I consciously choose this, or did I automatically implement a familiar response?

And perhaps most importantly:
Who is holding the volume dial?

Because authenticity isn't about being the loudest version of ourselves all the time.
Sometimes we will quite appropriately turn the volume down.
Sometimes we'll turn it up.
Sometimes we'll choose something in between.

The goal isn't to live permanently at full volume.

It's to know that we have a choice about the volume.

To be able to show up in full colour when we want to, without fear or discomfort automatically deciding how much of us the world gets to see.

And perhaps that is what freedom looks like.

Warmly,

Laurenne
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Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

A few days ago, I went to yoga for the first time in quite a while. What I noticed was just how much tension I’d been holding in my muscles. It got me thinking about the idea of allowing, and what the opposite of allowing really is in the flow of life.

We often think of the opposite of allowing as ‘pushing’, ‘striving’, ‘doing’, ‘making things happen’. What I realised is that the opposite of allowing can also be holding.

What are we holding onto?
Holding tension in the body.
Holding onto old ideas, habitual ways of being, relationships, expectations, or patterns that no longer serve us.

This doesn’t mean giving up on action or letting go of the things that genuinely support us. Rather, it’s about bringing conscious awareness to what we’re doing, what we’re holding, and what we’re allowing — so that we can consciously choose.

Moving past the default
So much of life runs on autopilot. We operate from familiar patterns, defaults, and old ways of thinking. Shifting these patterns can feel uncomfortable at times. Yet there is also relief in allowing. Relief in softening. Relief in letting go.

My muscles certainly appreciated it.

And beyond the yoga class, I’ve noticed the space this creates in life, even if the in-between space of uncertainty and not knowing can sometimes feel uncomfortable too.

A question for you to reflect on this week:
What are you holding onto?

Bring it into your conscious awareness. Notice whether it truly serves you to continue holding it. If it does, honour that. If it doesn’t, what might it look like to release it?

What becomes possible when you create space for the thoughts, beliefs, patterns, and experiences that genuinely support who you are becoming?

Perhaps this week offers an opportunity to become a little more conscious of what is being held — and what is ready to shift.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

​Impatience – How Do You Manage Yours?

We often talk about slowing down, creating space, and recharging. This is important and relevant for many of us. But what if the opposite is true for you? What if you’re ready to speed up?

How do you manage your impatience when you’re poised for something to happen? You feel like you’re at the starting gate—ready, energised, and primed to go—but the gate seems stuck. Things aren’t moving at the pace you’d like. How do you sit with this discomfort? How do you tolerate the uncertainty and ambiguity? What do you do when you want it to happen now?

It can be a very challenging space. When you know exactly how long the pause will last, it’s easier to relax into it, to enjoy the moment. But when the timeline is uncertain, anxiety can creep in, and the space becomes harder to appreciate.

The reality is though, that whether things change or not, you can only act on what’s within your control. The unknown factors that determine when the gate opens will unfold on their own. So how can you allow yourself to relax into the space in the meantime?

Here are some ideas to help manage impatience:

• Take action where you can influence outcomes – Focus on projects, connections, or opportunities that you can move forward now. Even if the results aren’t immediate, progress creates momentum and a sense of agency.
• Turn impatience into curiosity – Use this time to explore something you’ve been curious about. Read, learn, experiment, or develop a skill. Growth often happens while we wait.
• Enjoy the pause – Even if the waiting feels frustrating, the space won’t last forever. Get into nature, connect with friends, see a show, or do something that energises you. Treat it as a gift rather than a setback.
• Practice micro-mindfulness – Short moments of mindfulness can help reduce the tension impatience creates. Pause, notice your breath, or pay attention to your surroundings. Look up when you walk.
• Reframe waiting as preparation – Instead of seeing the pause as lost time, consider it as time to gather strength, sharpen your focus, or plan your next steps. Often, what we do during the pause sets us up for success when the gate finally opens.
• Move your body – Physical activity can be a powerful release for restless energy. Go for a walk, stretch, or exercise—it helps channel your readiness into something productive.

Impatience is a sign you’re motivated, engaged, and ready to take action. Learning to navigate the in-between moments with intention can transform them from frustration into opportunity.

What are some ways you manage your impatience? Hit reply and let me know—I’d love to hear your your strategies.
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Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

🔆 RETHINKING GOALS: NO DESTINATION REQUIRED 🔆

We are often told we should set goals. For many, clear, defined targets are motivating, clarifying, and energising. And yet, sometimes the pressure to ‘have a goal’ can block the very growth you’re seeking.

What happens when you don't have—or don't want—specific, clear goals? Whether it's a phase of life or your general approach, we all encounter times when formulating crisp, measurable outcomes feels difficult, even suffocating. You might resist the entire process.

It can be helpful to draw a distinction:
🔹 'Result' Goals: Based on measurable, defined outcomes (SMART goals if you like).
🔹 'Journey' Goals: Focused on the experience and the learning, not the destination.

I've had many periods where outcome-based goals were the perfect fit, and very helpful. I've also had times when I’ve struggled to define my goals, finding I’ve resisted the rigidity.

THE ALTERNATIVE: EMBRACING JOURNEY-STYLE GOALS

What is a journey-style goal I hear you ask? It’s all about the journey, shifting the focus from the destination to the path itself. It might be centred on:
🔹 What you want to learn.
🔹 The experiences you wish to have.
🔹 What you want to feel.
🔹 What you want to explore.
🔹 What you’re curious about.

Journey-style goals are just as valid and important as the outcome. They can be wonderful standalone drivers or used in combination with result-oriented goals.

WHAT'S YOUR PREFERENCE?

Which style of goals are you drawn to right now? And what influences that choice? How will this impact your approach to 2026?

Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

Does your thinking race ahead of your emotions?

Do you sometimes find that you understand things intellectually before you allow yourself to feel your emotions? Perhaps you can see why someone acted the way they did or said what they said. Maybe you can even understand the bigger picture — yet your emotions seem to lag behind, or don’t seem to show up at all. Your heart and emotions haven’t caught up to your thinking.

A clue that this might be happening is that you hear yourself saying you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way. This creates a disconnect and can have you invalidating your emotions — as though your understanding of the situation or person means you’ve forfeited the right to your own feelings. Your empathy might have gone into overdrive and so you explain away your own feelings, favouring logic and an understanding of the other person’s position instead.

But the truth is: you absolutely have a right to feel what you feel.

Understanding a situation cognitively doesn’t cancel out the emotional experience. In fact, when emotions are dismissed or pushed aside, they often sit in the body and find their way out through tension, frustration, shutdown, or reactive behaviours, often in ways that don’t serve you, the other person, or the situation. Emotions don’t simply disappear; they just go underground.

When you allow yourself to acknowledge your emotions without judgement, something powerful happens. You create space to process them consciously and safely. And from that place, you have more choice in how you respond.

Processing emotions

Processing emotions can look different for everyone. It may involve one, or a combination of:

• Giving language to your emotions – can you name the emotions you are feeling?
• Allowing yourself to experience your own emotions in addition to understanding the other’s view
• Gentle breathing to regulate your nervous system – a slightly longer out breath than in breath is helpful (e.g.: 4 counts on the in breath, 6 counts on the out breath)
• Movement to shift emotional energy through the body
• Journaling to give your emotions somewhere to land
• Talking with a trusted person, coach or therapist,
• Hypnotherapy, or
• Having a conversation with the person involved — or choosing not to, depending on what serves you best.

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Connecting with your emotions can require practice. And that’s okay. Your mind may move quickly, but your heart has its own pace — and it deserves to be honoured.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

Emotion or Intuition - What's the Difference?

Have you ever confused your emotional responses with intuition?

I have. However, emotion and intuition are actually quite different, and I think the differences are important.

Emotions

Emotions, as you have likely experienced, are feeling based reactions either to something external, or even to our own thoughts. They can be quite intense, sometimes urgent and definitely impacted by our moods, thinking, biases and physiology. When ungrounded, or not combined with considered thought, emotions can sometimes have us making decisions, or behaving in ways we are less comfortable with. We absolutely need to notice, experience and consider our emotions, but we don’t want to confuse them with intuition.

Intuition

So, what is intuition? Intuition can be described as a sense of knowing something instinctively, without conscious reasoning or explanation. It’s often called ‘gut feeling’. Intuition may feel calm, quiet, or even neutral and often provides a sense of deep knowing. It might feel more like a clear insight, or a pull (gentle or stronger) which leads to a sense of alignment and clarity.

We all have our own way to know the difference

You will have your own way of knowing the difference between an emotional response and intuition. For me, while intuition can sometimes lead me to a quick response, I’ve learned it works best for me to allow my emotions to settle and to notice what remains. It’s like allowing the water to settle in a pond after it’s been disturbed. The ripples are the emotions that can obscure the message. Intuition is the clarity after the ripples settle. 

How do you know the difference?

Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

A Strengths Based Approach and The Sailboat Metaphor 
​
Have you ever wondered what a strengths based approach is, and how we work with weaknesses within this approach?

Let me explain...

(watch the video below)

What if You’re Already Enough?

Do you ever notice that little voice of self-doubt?
Maybe it tells you that you’re not enough. Or perhaps it whispers that you’re too much.
The truth is – this is so common. Most of us carry deep-rooted beliefs that hold us back. Today, I invite you to gently explore yours.

What if you’re already enough?
What if you were to believe that you are already enough? This might be:

• Good enough
• Successful enough
• Funny enough
• Lovable enough
• Capable enough
• Interesting enough
• Or any other version of enough

What would that allow for you?

And what if you were also to believe that you’re not too much?  Not too loud, too intense, too sensitive, too quiet, too outgoing, too anything?

What would that allow for you?

Curiosity Instead of Judgement
So many of us run deep-rooted beliefs around being not enough, being too much, or a combination of both. What if we could let go of these beliefs, or at least shine a light on them, question them, check if they’re fact, opinion or assumption. What if we could get really curious about them, instead of judging ourselves? Are they our beliefs or do they come from something we’ve been told, something we’ve absorbed, or do they come from being in environments that aren’t a good fit for us?

Reflection Prompts
Regardless of where the belief comes from, take a moment and reflect on these questions:

• What’s the impact of holding the belief?
• Where does this belief trip me up?
• How does it hold me back or cause me to second-guess myself?
• What impact does it have on my relationships?

What if you let these thoughts go?
Now imagine letting these thoughts go.
How would it feel to trust that you are already enough—and never too much?
Notice:

• What this allows for you
• How this impacts the way you show up and your relationships
• The impact on your thinking, behaviour, being, your confidence and sense of self
• How you feel

Letting Unhelpful Beliefs Go
There are many ways to shift our thinking (and the emotions our thinking triggers).
As a starting point, you can begin by gently challenging your thoughts:

• Is this thought true?
• Is this thought helpful?
• What would be a more helpful or supportive belief?  

For some, reframing at a conscious level is enough. For others, working with the subconscious mind – through hypnotherapy – makes it easier to shift deeply held beliefs without conscious interference.

Want Support?
There’s no single ‘right way’ to work with your thinking, beliefs and emotions. The ‘right way’ is the way that works for you. Reach out if you’d like to explore how coaching, counselling, or hypnotherapy could support you in feeling enough just as you are. I’d love to help.

To learn more, click here to book a time to chat.

If you’re ready to shift your beliefs, click here to book your first session.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Clinical Hypnotherapist | Coach (PCC) | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

Personal growth, development, and healing are deeply individual and ongoing processes. While there are many ways to achieve growth and change, two approaches stand out: transformation and evolution. Each approach offers distinct benefits, and ideally a combination of both is helpful. However, leaning more strongly into evolution can provide a grounded and sustainable path.

Transformation is Appealing

There’s no doubt that transformation is appealing. The pace, the idea of reinventing yourself, of making a powerful shift, or dramatically changing your mindset or habits can feel exciting and full of promise. When we’re in pain or discomfort, we often crave rapid transformation — we want change to happen now, if not yesterday!

Having said this, I question how often we can actually transform. Constant transformation can be quite dizzying! Additionally, the concept of transformation sometimes implies that we need to fix something about ourselves, rather than recognising we are simply growing and evolving. While transformative experiences can be pivotal and deeply healing, constant transformation can be overwhelming and unsustainable as a long-term approach.

Embracing Evolution

So, let’s talk evolution. Evolution is gradual, integrative and sustainable - we have time to adapt. Evolution allows us to grow over time, to adjust and to practice new approaches based on our insights, awareness and learning. We come to understand what we want to shift and gradually implement these changes.

Evolution also supports the idea that we are enough as we are—and from that place of being enough we can continue to grow, develop and heal. There is less judgement from self and others. Evolving is more of an upgrade, a way of doing things in line with new awareness, new insights, new learning and understanding. We resonate with new energy. There’s time to integrate emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual shifts at a pace that feels right.

What does personal evolution look like?

Signs you’re evolving may include:

• Noticing you approach people, situations and challenges with more awareness and calm
• Responding rather than reacting
• Having a greater awareness of how you show up
• Feeling less triggered by things that once bothered you
• Experiencing greater emotional resilience and wellbeing
• Feeling more energy, feeling happier and more content more often
• Allowing space for emotions without fear or resistance
• Noticing your relationships shift in subtle or significant ways
• Feeling more comfortable and confident in your own skin
• Realising you’ve naturally stopped certain behaviours or habits
• Observing that others interact with you differently
• And so much more

These changes reflect healing and growth. They may not always be dramatic, but they are profound.

Transformation and Evolution – They are Not Mutually Exclusive

It’s important to remember that transformation and evolution are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they are complementary. You may experience moments of powerful transformation alongside periods of gentle evolution. Both are pathways to growth, change and healing. 

​
​Laurenne Di Salvo
Clinical Hypnotherapist | Coach (PCC) | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

When we think about healing, we might wish there was a magic wand (sadly there isn’t). However, we know that healing is a process. There are many ways we can describe this process, and in fact many ways we can experience it. One way to think about healing is as a deliberate process of zooming in and zooming out. This allows us multiple perspectives to support insights, learning and change.

We might start by zooming in, by reflecting on and answering questions around why you’ve chosen to embark on your journey of healing.

We then zoom out, allowing us to get a bigger picture of your life, your context, what’s going on for you and what’s important.

With this understanding, we may zoom back in to focus on a specific concern. Think increasing confidence, addressing anxiety, shifting unhelpful habits, or even curiosity around a past life. Alternatively, your focus might be something more nebulous, like purpose in life, moving past feeling stuck, or wanting to really flourish. Either way, we would zoom in to explore this in more depth, understanding why this matters to you, what you hope to achieve, and what you would like to be different, amongst other details.

We could then remain zoomed in, with a focus on the detail of the concern, or we might zoom out a little to see how this might fit into your broader life, or we might zoom out a lot to understand how this fits in at a soul level, depending on your interests and beliefs. This helps position the desire for change, and allows us to explore the root cause of what’s not working so that we can develop a plan to address it.

Our plan will likely have us both zoom in and out. Where are the beliefs and behaviours coming from? When and how were they formed? Where and how are they showing up? How are they impacting you and is this a once off, or a pattern? And importantly, how will we shift them? We may zoom out to build your inner resources to prepare you to shift whatever it is that’s causing your concern, behaviour, or belief. We may zoom in to target a particular belief, behaviour, or idea. Most often we do both.

This approach is helpful due to the shifts in perspective it provides. Gaining multiple perspectives allows us to see things we may not have seen before. When we then act on and embed the learning and insights gained through these perspectives, we have the opportunity for sustainable change and healing.

Laurenne Di Salvo
Clinical Hypnotherapist | Coach (PCC) | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au