Life transitions can be like the 'next episode preview' for your favourite TV series

Think about some major transitions in your life. You know, transitioning from school to work, getting married or moving in with a partner, having children, changing jobs, getting made redundant, moving country or city, retiring from the workforce, that sort of thing.

Did it ever feel like you’d hit the end of one episode of your life, but you didn’t yet know what was going to happen in the next episode? You had the ‘next episode preview’, but that was it. What I mean is, you had some sketchy ideas of what was going to come next, but you could only see it in snippets. You weren’t able to see the whole next episode yet. Also, the clues you did get weren’t necessarily in context and so your ‘next episode’ may not have turned out exactly as you thought it would.

How comfortable did you find this? Did you enjoy the anticipation? Were you impatient to know how it would all turn out? Did you want someone to tell you it would all be ok? Did you enjoy the journey? Did you feel all of these things at various times?

Life transitions can be tricky simply by virtue of the fact that we just don’t know how the next chapter will turn out. However, there are things we can do to help ourselves through the transition:

1. Understand that change is essential for development - Whilst change can make us decidedly uncomfortable, stepping out of our comfort zone is crucial for personal (and professional) development. Understanding this may not make you exactly comfortable, but it can assist with a more positive mindset.
2. Cocoon – Don’t rush the change process. Take time out, psychologically speaking, for soul searching, to process how you feel and to understand yourself at a being level, rather than at a doing level. You may feel some grief at letting go of the old, perhaps relief to be shifting into something new, you may experience loneliness, excitement or even a renewed sense of inner confidence. Understand that all of these feelings are normal in the change process and note them mindfully, with curiosity. Give yourself the time and space to feel and process these emotions and reactions before you start to ready yourself for what comes next.
3. Increase your self-knowledge: Get to know yourself better. Explore your strengths, values, what motivates you and what you have learned about yourself from previous transitions. Use this knowledge to help you get ready to move into the next ‘episode’ of your life with purpose and direction so that you are making conscious, deliberate choices.
4. Focus on those things within your control – Stephen Covey talks about working within our circle of influence. That is, it benefits us to focus on things we can do something about. During life transitions (particularly those forced upon us) we can feel out of control, leading us to respond reactively. By bringing our focus to our ‘circle of influence’ and expending energy on those things we can do something about, we bring a more positive and proactive energy and mindset to our situation, allowing us to feel much more in control of our lives.
5. Get comfortable with ambiguity – Understand that there are things in life that we just can’t know. After all, we can’t control those things which haven’t yet taken form. The fact is we can never know how everything will turn out, so we need to just ‘roll with it’ to some degree and bring a flexible approach. Focusing on any strengths we have around being able to problem solve in any given situation, rather than with needing to understand the situation in its entirety first is helpful here. Trust that you will be able to deal with what happens as it happens.
6. Recognise your supports – Take stock of your supports. In addition to being aware of and asking for assistance and support from friends, family and networks, also be aware of your internal supports, your own coping techniques. This includes your practices arounds self-care – For example, understanding what relaxes you and what energises you.
7. Focus on bite sized chunks – Whilst it’s of major benefit to have a vision for your next life ‘episode’ and to have goals in place around this vision (potentially something you have come to through cocooning), breaking your plan to get there down into bite sized, manageable chunks can also be beneficial. Keeping the steps small will reduce overwhelm and provide you with a sense of achievement as you reach each mini-milestone. You want to set yourself up for success.

It’s very normal to have mixed emotions around life transitions. Give yourself time and space to process these, to get to know yourself, your situation and your journey so that you can discover what your next episode actually looks like. I wonder if it will be as you expected from the ‘next episode preview’, or if there’s a plot twist and it’s something entirely different. Regardless, enjoy the opportunity for growth, development and the chance to create a life you love. If you would like some support along the way, please call me for a confidential chat (0413 776 564).

Warmest wishes,

Laurenne Di Salvo
Leadership & Professional Development Coach | Corporate Trainer | Learning & Development Consultant
0413 776 564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au
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​​Laurenne Di Salvo is a Leadership & Professional Development Coach, Corporate Trainer and Learning & Development Consultant. She enables individuals and groups to take the next step in their development through evidenced based coaching practices and learning programs.

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