Your value is not what you do. Your value is who you are.
  
Your value is not what you do. Your value is who you are, and that is wonderful news, as your value is innate.

In our desire to be of value, many of us link our value very closely with what we do, what qualifications we have, our job titles, our roles, and the list goes on. This can leave us either questioning our value, or constantly seeking the next qualification, enrolling in the next course, feeling we need to do more, we need to get promoted, or we need to act to demonstrate our value. This can be exhausting and in fact detract from our real value.  We can slide behind a mask of titles, roles, qualifications, and ‘doing’ and neglect to show our real selves, our real value. We can actually ‘do’ so much that we prevent others from doing what they need to.

Now this isn’t to say that what we do isn’t OF VALUE. It definitely is, and what we do is clearly important. The problem is we often conflate what we do with our innate value. This then becomes disempowering and has us on a hamster wheel of feeling the need to prove our worth. We may end up in a spiral of imposter syndrome, and find we’re not showing up as our best selves, as our authentic selves.

The thing is, when you think of the value of others, it’s often about how they show up, their personality, the energy they bring and share, the space they hold for us, the things about them that are innate and unique to them. This is the same in reverse. You bring your own unique energy, your own self and make people feel in a way that no one else can. Your combination of life experience, education and roles all contribute to your value, and are OF VALUE, but your INNATE VALUE is your being. It’s the way you show up, it’s your energy. It’s the reason people enjoy being in your company. And that is innate to you. And that is precious.

So, while it’s easier said than done, I encourage you to remind yourself that your value is not what you do, it’s who you are. And you, and each and every one of us is of value.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

How Well do you Set and Maintain Boundaries?

How well do you set and maintain boundaries? This is something that can take a bit of practice, and sometimes a mindset shift.
Sometimes we think we’re not very good as saying ‘no’, and yet every time we say ‘yes’ to something or someone, we’re actually saying ‘no’ to something or someone else (sometimes the someone else is ourselves). Our conscious ‘yes’ can therefore lead to an unconscious ‘no’ elsewhere, resulting in you spending time and energy with people and doing thing you’d prefer not to, or that aren’t the best use of your time and energy.

For example, saying ‘yes’ to a meeting you don’t really need to be at, or saying ‘yes’ to a task that may not be essential, or that someone else is better placed (or skilled) to do may mean you’ve subconsciously said ‘no’ to working with your team members that could really use your support. Or perhaps you have said yes to a social engagement you don’t really want to go to, and this has led to a subconscious (or conscious) ‘no’ to time with a friend or family member you would really like to be spending time with, or to time on your own simply to recharge and just be.

It's worth brining these choices to conscious awareness. What’s the impact on ourselves and others? What message does your boundary, or lack of boundary send? Is it the message you want to send?

Understandably we also tend to think about boundaries from our own perspective, thinking we are being kind, helpful, of service. We let people overstep because we want to people please, we don’t want to upset anyone, we want to be helpful, etc, etc, etc. However, if our boundaries are unclear, this can be confusing for others too. They likely don’t want to overstep and would be mortified to know they’ve put you in a position you don’t want to be in. They may be totally unaware of the impact they’re having. However, if they don’t actually realise that this is the case, they can’t make a different choice. So think about your healthy boundaries being both for you and for the other person.

Step one is to know what your boundaries look like and feel like. This can actually feel unfamiliar and take a bit of reflection. What do you want? What don’t you want?

Step two is to let others know your boundaries. You may communicate this directly, or sometimes via your behaviour.
Step three is to push back and gently highlight that a boundary has been crossed if this happens. Again, this can take some practice, but the benefits are there for you and for the other person.

If you need some support with boundaries in any context, please reach out.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

We often have moments in life that we feel the need to choose a path, a direction, a way forward. This happens throughout our lives. It might be as we’re finishing secondary school and deciding whether to study or start working, and if we choose one or the other, which course to study, or which type of job to seek. It might be around deciding which career path, or job to pursue longer term, or it might be around if and when to have children. Maybe it’s indecision around whether to change life direction at key moments in your life, what to do as you approach the end of your career, or it could be one of many other decision points in our lives.

These moments can be confusing and we can feel very unsure of which direction to go. We may even feel that there’s a ‘RIGHT path’, or that we need to find ‘THE path’. This binary mindset, or sense of there being a ‘right’ and a ‘wrong’ path creates a false dichotomy, and one which can leave us paralysed, procrastinating, anxious or stuck in indecision.

What if we were to shift this? What if we were to move from thinking about ‘THE’ path, to ‘A’ path? Notice the impact this has on your thinking. Notice the impact this has on your energy, your emotions and the options that open up for you.

When we feel there’s a right path we must follow, and by default that the others are wrong, we may not even start. And yet, if we were to adopt a mindset that we can just choose ‘a’ path and start down that road, then we can see where it takes us, how the path branches and the opportunities it brings. If we don’t start we’ll never know what could have opened up for us, what the opportunities could be. And if we don’t like the way forward after starting, we can always redirect back to an alternative option. We might feel that we can’t, but we always have choices.

So, if you’re waiting for ‘THE path’, or the ‘right path’, I encourage you to simply start down ‘A path', exploring, seeing where it leads you and what other paths open out that you can explore further. And if there’s anxiety or fear around starting, notice if there’s also anxiety and fear around not starting, or what other emotions you feel about not starting. You might notice that it’s a matter of choosing which type of discomfort you would like to work through. Then you can choose which path will lead to shifting these emotions into excitement, curiosity and an openness to what your future might hold.

Obviously reflection and consideration of your options is important, and encouraged. You wouldn’t start a journey in a car you knew was unsafe, or fly internationally without a passport, so by all means, do some reflection, planning and research. And then, start down a path, because despite what we tell ourselves, there’s rarely only one ‘right’ path. Whichever path you take, cherish the journey, the learning and all the experiences you’ll have along the way.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Laurenne Di Salvo
Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

When you hear the expression ‘leaning into intuition,’ what does this mean for you? Take a moment if you like and simply reflect. What comes up? Where do you feel it in your body? What emotions are associated with it and what thoughts come to mind? How does your intuition present for you? It could be images, thoughts, words, a general knowing, or something else.

What is Intuition?

There are a number of definitions of intuition, but we can define it as the ability to understand, or to know something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning. 

Intuition vs Rational Thinking

While I’ve always drawn on intuition, recently I’ve been increasingly leaning in. As a result, it’s like a muscle that’s strengthening, which is kind of exciting! In the past I would sometimes lean in, and other times lean away, doubting myself. What I realise though is that my intuition is strong and provides great insight, both for me and also for my clients. I also find it helpful to remember that it doesn’t have to be a situation of either/or. That is, it doesn’t have to be either logic and rational thinking, or intuition, but that it can be both/and, both logic, rational thinking, and intuition. It works well when you allow logic, rational thinking and intuition to complement each other, rather than one negating the other. When I reflect on my life, my best decisions, choices and insights have always had at least an element of intuition guiding them.

The Benefits

I find when I really lean into intuition, I connect with people at a deeper level and I have information, ideas, and ways forward accessible to me that I wouldn't otherwise have. This has supported my clients, it’s supported me, and it’s supported the ways we can work together. As a result, I find I consciously access my intuition more and more often. For me this is a combination of remaining open, noticing, and also of asking. When working with coaching and hypnotherapy clients, I may consciously (although silently) ask, what does this person need, or what would help this person, or what does the person need to know. And I often get answers that resonate for them. This isn’t a process of telling, but of simply sharing and allowing them to play with what comes through, as well as supporting them to access their own intuition. 

I’m curious, do you draw on intuition, and if so, what does this enable for you?

If you enjoy working with someone utilising an intuitive approach, please do reach out. Likewise, please reach out to share your experience with leaning into intuition.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Coach (PCC) | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Facilitator
0413 776564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

Have you ever been interested in areas you feel don’t fit neatly into the professional world? Where if you talk to people about these areas, you might get a few odd looks? This has felt true for me. For clarity, when I say professional, I’m using this term in the context of the corporate or organisational space. In truth, I am now questioning whether my interests really don’t fit, or if this has been an assumption on my behalf. I think it may actually be the latter.

Let me explain. I have always been very interested in holistic, or integrated approaches to personal and professional development and wellbeing. This includes spaces of energetic healing, soul, or spiritual approaches to development, what I jokingly refer to as the space of ‘woo’. Like many, I’m not religious, but I am very interested in spirituality, purpose, connection and belonging, actually all very well researched areas. To date, I have usually tried to keep more ‘soul based’, spiritual approaches out of work, or integrated them more subtly, not talking to them explicitly for fear of not being taken seriously. I talk about my university qualifications, my professional certifications, and my professional experience, but less about my exploration and interest in less ‘Western’ approaches.  

I value and I am guided in my work by evidence-based approaches. I have, and continue to study these approaches. I also appreciate approaches that aren’t as easily ‘evidenced,’ or evidenced by more traditional measures. I feel the ‘lived experience’ in these spaces does provide evidence for efficacy, but not always in the way approaches such as cognitive behavioural approaches, or positive psychology might.

So back to my assumptions. At university, I loved tie dye, crystals, essential oils, energy-based healing and delving into ‘spiritual’ approaches (to be clear, many are very much evidence based and grounded). I still do, except I’m a bit less drawn to tie dye these days. However, as I moved into the professional world, I felt the need to keep this separate from my ‘professional persona’ for fear of being seen as unprofessional, as a bit ‘out there’ and for fear of not being taken seriously. And yet, increasingly my professional clients are also seeking meaning, belonging, connection and purpose, and this has opened up conversations, suggesting that even if the professional world may not be open to a bit of ‘woo’, the people working in the professional world definitely are, and are already exploring these spaces. They are just often doing this, like I was, without the overlap into their professional worlds.

So why does this matter? Well, it means we may not be bringing all of ourselves to work. It means we might be missing opportunities for conversations and approaches that allow us to explore areas that can be integrated into supporting our search for meaning, connection, purpose and in guiding our self-awareness, development, and growth. I think this is important and I welcome opportunities to open up and normalise conversations in this space, conversations guided by curiosity and without judgement.

I recently achieved certification as a ‘Soul realignment® Practitioner’, a modality based on accessing the Akashic records to understand who we are at soul level. I am about to embark on further studies in hypnotherapy (obviously very evidence based), energy healing (also evidence based) and spiritual healing. I am keen to formally study new areas, adding to those I am already familiar with. This will allow me to support the development of the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of the people I work with in new ways, adding to the toolkit I already reach into to support my clients in their personal and professional development and wellbeing. I’m keen to continue bringing this language and these approaches into discussions with people working in the professional world.

I’m curious, what have your experiences been when incorporating ‘soul based/spiritual’ practices into professional discussions? Have you made any assumptions around what modalities for development are ok and not ok to talk about at work? I’m choosing to challenge my own assumptions in the space and welcome the discussion and exploration, as a I do the opportunity to more opening apply a very integrated approach into my practice.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Executive, Leadership, Personal & Professional Development Coach (PCC), Facilitator and Consultant. 
0413 776 564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

Let's Connect

Laurenne Di Salvo offers services in coaching, facilitation, and holistic approaches to development, enabling individuals and groups to develop the personal and professional capabilities, self-awareness, skills and confidence they require to navigate their current and future roles, lives and wellbeing. 

Originally published by BetterUp. 

When one door closes, another opens, but it’s one hell of a corridor!

I heard this expression last year, yet I feel it’s come into its own in 2020. I honestly believe there are some amazing changes, mindset shifts, ways of working and ways of interacting and being that are already coming out of 2020 and all that the year has brought with it, but it really is one hell of a corridor!

So, how do you navigate the corridor?

That depends a lot on how you’re experiencing it. To throw around another cliché, we are in this together, but experiencing it differently, so your navigation will depend on your experience. Do you need to sit with the discomfort of uncertainty and ambiguity? I think for most, this will be their truth to some degree! Do you need to manage your boundaries so as not to burn out with an excessive workload? Or is it the opposite, and your work has been impacted and you are either working a lot less, or not at all? Are you managing a full household with competing priorities, or are you living alone and managing the isolation, or are you somewhere in between? Are you close to the new open door, or is it still a long way in the distance, or are you unsure?

You might be living in lockdown (we are in Melbourne as I write this), or maybe you’re able to move around, visit friends and family and participate in everyday activities. All of these things will impact your corridor, as will any false doors along the way, if the corridor is straight, or if there are twists and turns.

Regardless, another door will open and there is so much learning to be done along the way. A couple of things that may help you navigate this time are to remember that you don’t have to move along the corridor alone, and to be gentle with yourself. Try not to put unnecessary pressure on yourself during a time that so many things are beyond your control, rather focusing on things you can control and influence. 

See you in the corridor, with appropriate social distancing and a face mask 😊.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Executive, Leadership & Professional Development Coach (PCC), Facilitator and Consultant. 
0413 776 564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au

Let's Connect

Laurenne Di Salvo is a Coach (PCC), Corporate Trainer and Learning & Development Consultant. She enables people to develop the personal and professional capabilities they require for their current and future roles and lives through evidenced based coaching practices and learning programs.

We’re all grieving - Creating space for the fear, discomfort and grief of COVID-19
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As you can imagine, my coaching sessions currently include a lot of discussion around COVID-19 and it’s impacts, both practical, and more importantly, the emotional impacts.

We’re all grieving
Something that really stands out is the fact that we’re all grieving. We’re grieving for many things. At the extreme, we’re grieving lives and the ability for some to say goodbye. For many though, it’s grieving for the loss of our freedoms, our short term personal and career goals, our jobs (be this complete job loss, partial reduction in our work flow, or our small businesses) and we’re grieving our ability to plan, to go on holiday and importantly, to visit and hug friends and family. For some this grief is strong, and for others it’s an underlying tension.

Nothing is business as usual
Nothing is business as usual. We’re in free fall and we don’t know for how long, and this is causing fear, uncertainty and grief. We need to give these feelings some space. This doesn’t mean we need to wallow, but many of us aren’t giving ourselves the space or permission we need to feel what we’re feeling at the moment.

This isn’t to say we can’t still remain optimistic, make decisions and be strong leaders, team members, family members and role models, it just means we can do this AND make decisions, be strong leaders, team members, family members and role models.

Give yourself and others permission to feel
In fact, our vulnerability in recognising and allowing ourselves to admit both to ourselves and to others that we’re finding the current situation hard and uncertain and frustrating and challenging and that we’re feeling a little anxious, and grieving gives others permission to do the same. If you don’t allow space for your emotions, your grief, how do you lead others? How do you remain the best version of yourself?

Acknowledging what’s going on for you can be a relief and free up the energy we need to then address this crisis with awareness, care and emotional intelligence so that we can be supportive of ourselves and others.

The benefit of naming how you feel
Some of my clients have highlighted that just naming how they’re feeling at the moment has been key for them, lifting a little of the weight they’re feeling and allowing them to then focus on their work commitments and crisis planning head on. This makes sense. When we give a name to our emotions, it helps shift our brain functions from the emotional center of our brains and into the prefrontal cortex, allowing us to move into rational thought and often de-intensifying the emotion. We're not negating the emotions, just reducing the intensity and creating a little space. A technique that can help is the BLR technique (Breathe Label Reappraise). This encourages us to take some deep breaths, calming us down, label the emotions we're feeling and to then reappraise the situation, be it actions, or reframing our mindset. I would just recommend you give yourself a little time before you move into reappraise. I sometimes have a tendency to try and speed this step up, yet there is value in really sitting with the emotions for a while.

A few questions
So I leave you with a couple of questions. How are you feeling? How can you honour your challenging feelings AND your positive emotions at the same time? How do you give yourself permission to feel the full spectrum of emotions elicited by our challenging times?

Please stay well and look after each other.

Warmly,

Laurenne

Executive, Leadership & Professional Development Coach (PCC), Facilitator and Consultant. 
0413 776 564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au
Let's Connect
Laurenne Di Salvo is Coach (PCC), Corporate Trainer and Learning & Development Consultant. She enables people to develop the personal and professional capabilities they require for their current and future roles and lives through evidenced based coaching practices and learning programs.

#coaching #covid19 #grief #bothand #emotions #resilience #uncertainty #ambiguity #change #grieving #carona #caronvirus #bettertogether

Are you ‘Pot Bound’? What’s the impact on your potential?
 
We have a very tall eucalyptus tree in our front yard. It must be well over 10 metres tall. We’ve watched this tree grow over the past 10 or so years from a sapling that was given to me by a friend who used to have it in a pot in her backyard. She didn’t have the space to plant it in the ground and it was very pot bound. She knew it would never reach its potential in the pot and so she asked me to plant it in the ground. It is now definitely in a place it can reach its potential.

Are you pot bound?

I wonder how many of us allow ourselves to stay pot bound? In an organisational context, are we in jobs that we’re good at, but that no longer stretch us? Are we allowed to spread both our roots and our branches? If not, what’s our pot made of? Is it organisational constraints, a lack of encouragement and support, have you developed your capability in your current role to an extent that others don’t want to lose you from that role (i.e. the plant looks great where it is, and they want to keep it there, even if it’s not best for the plant)? Could it be your own confidence, mindset and belief systems, or something else? How do you know when you’ve moved beyond your comfort zone and actually become pot bound? And what impact is this having on your potential?

Are you manifesting your potential?

John Whitmore, in ‘What is Performance?’ (Coaching for Performance, 2002) suggests that on average, we only manifest about 40% of our potential in the workplace. Does this mean we aren’t able to even fill our pots, or are we actually pot bound? I would suggest that often we’re probably pot bound, either by our own beliefs or by organisational structures, processes and lack of support. Perhaps we just need nutrients and more sunlight, or perhaps we actually need to increase the size of our pot, or even be planted in the ground. If this is the case, how do know we’ve reached this point?

How do I know it’s time to replant?

I think the first sign is that of being aware of wanting to move out of your comfort zone. You may have a sense that you’re capable of more, even if you do enjoy your current role. You may feel bored, or unchallenged, you may have a sense of your increased capability and confidence, or you may feel that you are no longer a good fit with the company or team you’re working in. Finally, you may just feel restricted by the status quo.

Moving to a bigger pot

If this is the case, it may be time to look for a bigger pot. First become aware of what your pot is made of and then have a look at what a better fit would look like. What would allow you room to grow both your roots and branches? If you’re not sure how, consider coaching. This is a great way to tap into your potential and to explore a pot or patch of land that will allow you to reach your potential. 

Leadership & Professional Development Coach | Corporate Trainer | Learning & Development Consultant
0413 776 564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au
Let's Connect

​​Laurenne Di Salvo is an Accredited Coach (ICF), Corporate Trainer and Learning & Development Consultant. She enables individuals and groups to take the next step in their development through evidenced based coaching practices and learning programs.

#potbound #potential #coaching #development #learning #challenge #strengths #comfortzone #discomfortzone #growthmindset #courage

Have you ever found yourself doing things that you are competent at, but that you don’t particularly enjoy? While you may not actively dislike the tasks, they certainly don’t energise you and perhaps they even leave you feeling bored. Maybe you’ve thought about moving into a new area of work because you already have the skills. It feels like the practical, sensible choice, but your heart’s just not in it.

I sometimes explore these situations with clients with the thought starter “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

This can apply at work, in making career decisions and in your personal life. The nett result of ignoring ‘just because you can, doesn’t mean you should’ is that you often feel frustrated, dissatisfied or even bored.

Why is this a problem?

If you spend a lot of time doing things just because you can, there’s no time and space to do the thing things that you really enjoy, the things that keep you in flow, that light you up and energise you. You may experience the satisfaction of a job well done, but this is different from the satisfaction you feel when doing something you believe really represents you properly, that you feel proud to have completed well.

A different approach

What if you took a different approach and tapped into those things you really enjoy, rather than those things that you believe you ‘should’ do. One way to do this is to identify and draw on your ‘signature strengths’ rather than on your ‘learned strengths’.

To identify your signature strengths, think about what gets you into flow. You know, that state where you get completely absorbed in a task and lose track of time. You often know you’re using your signature strengths when you feel energised, engaged and motivated.  Ask yourself, does this idea/work/activity energise me? Do you feel ‘in flow’ when doing it or thinking about it? If not, you may be using a ‘learned strength’. This is one you’ve developed based on need, rather than one that comes naturally to you.

If I was to give you an example, I can absolutely do detail oriented work. I can even do it quite well if I put my mind to it. However, I don’t enjoy it and I feel quite drained of energy when I spend too much time on these tasks. This doesn’t mean I should never do work of this nature. In fact, it’s really important that I can do this, as we all need to do detail oriented work at times. However, for me, I would be ill advised to work in a role where close attention to detail and routine were key aspects of the job, as this doesn’t draw on my signature strengths and it’s not what I enjoy. That is, just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.

What's the benefit?

Why does this even matter? Well, the research suggests that when we draw on our signature strengths we're happier and more productive.  This has certainly been true for me. So, if you’re looking to move into a new role, think about what would best allow you to use your signature strengths. If you intend to stay put, think about how you could recraft your role a little to allow greater use of your strengths. What projects could you get involved in? How could you do your existing role a little differently?

I wonder, how often are you in a ‘just because I can, doesn’t mean I should’ situation? What will you do differently?

How can I learn about my signature strengths and how to apply them?

Not sure what your signature strengths are or how to apply them? You can start by doing the VIA Character Strengths Survey, or the Gallup Strengths Survey. Not sure how to apply your strengths at work to allow you to do the best job you can? Not sure what you would like to be doing? Let’s connect and we can work through this together. 
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Warmest wishes,

Laurenne Di Salvo

Leadership & Professional Development Coach | Corporate Trainer | Learning & Development Consultant
0413 776 564
www.harvestcoaching.com.au
Let's Connect

​​Laurenne Di Salvo is a Development Coach, Corporate Trainer and Learning & Development Consultant. She enables individuals and groups to take the next step in their personal and professional development through evidenced based coaching practices and learning programs.

#strenghts #energy #flow #signaturestrengths #viacharacterstengths #gallupstrengths