New Year’s Resolutions don’t set us up for success. They are all about ‘gonna do’, ‘wanna do’, ‘should do’, ‘if I get around to it’. It’s hard to succeed with this mindset!
New Year’s Resolutions allow too much scope to give up, to keep putting things off and to make excuses. They are also usually vague. I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to get fit. I’m going to stop smoking. I’m going to have better work-life balance. Sound familiar?
It’s very difficult to manifest what you want if you don’t have clarity around what the change really looks like.
So what’s the alternative?
No doubt there are many. One approach that I really like is New Year’s Manifestations.
Why are they different I hear you ask?
The power of manifestations is that they not only require you to really visualise what you want in your life, but they are phrased in the present. This is powerful! Writing about your life as if the change already exists allows you to be more mentally and emotionally committed. The change isn't something you will do one day, something you are ‘gonna do’. Mentally, you are already doing it. This also tends to keep things realistic. If you are thinking this sounds a lot like goal setting, that’s because manifestations are effectively the outputs of your goals.
I’d like to share with you a very simple approach that I’ve used for the past 5+ years. When I look back on my manifestations at the end of the year, without fail I have achieved at least 80% of them. This was never true for me with New Year’s Resolutions.
1. At the end of the old year (in this case 2015), think about where you are in your life, where you would like to be, what you would like to be doing and what you would like to have in your life by the end of the following year (2016).
2. Try to visualise what your life will look like by the end of the year. You may even like to do this with pictures, drawings or photos, or a combination of images and words.
3. Once you feel clear on what you want, write this down as a number of statements written:
who nurture and support me. There are opportunities for professional development and
Your thoughts are very powerful, so use them to your advantage!
Remember too that another way we sometimes block our success is that we assume we have to bring about change all on our own. Many of us aren’t great at asking for help. However, I would suggest that seeking support is actually a strength and a sign of courage and commitment.
You may need support to get clarity on what it is you want to manifest, or it might be to work out what’s holding you back, be this unhealthy habits, self-limiting beliefs, your mindset or thought patterns. You may also want someone to help keep you on track, to help you clarify and work to your strengths and values, to motivate you, encourage you to take action and to hold you accountable.
If this is you, you may want to consider life coaching. To find out more, call Laurenne on 0413 776 564 for a confidential chat or to make an appointment and set yourself up for success in 2016!
Has anyone been to Sky Trail on Phillip Island? For those who haven’t, it’s a high ropes course that consists of horizontally strung cables, ropes, boards and other materials secured between 10 metre high steel poles. Not for those who are scared of heights! Even with a safety harness on, the top level still feels pretty high up.
So my family and I went last weekend. It was really interesting to see our different approaches.
My 10 year old son, who has no fear, went straight to the top level. I was the last one to get my harness on, so by the time I started climbing the stairs, my husband and younger son (8 years old) had already followed my 10 y.o. to the top. Once there, my husband and 8 y.o. watched for a bit and then went back down to the lower level. I thought I’d better stay with my 10 y.o. After all, I’m the parent and surely I should ensure he’s ok. However, it was a lot higher up than it seemed from the ground!
I managed one of the easier obstacles, but my heart was beating pretty fast at this stage. My 10 y.o. was already on fire, nearly running across the planks, so I figured given he met the height criteria to stay on his own and was wearing a safety harness, I could probably leave him there alone. For me, a better approach was to move back down a level and build my confidence first (this was my younger son and husband’s approach too). I wasn’t going to let it beat me though!
So that’s what I did. I started on the easier obstacles and as I got more comfortable and confident, I tried the harder ones and had a rush of pride in myself with each one I managed. Please note I’ve had issues with one ear that left me with some balance issues for a while. Thanks to the ability of the brain to rewire, my balance seems to be in very good working order again and Sky Trail really highlighted that for me.
Anyway, once I mastered the lower level I decided to go back up to the top level. I had a go at the easier obstacles. Success! I was also aware of making some assumptions. One of the planks across from one platform to the other that had no rope handles looked like it would be very wobbly when I walked on it. However, when I asked the guy who worked there what it was like, he told me it was easier than the single, foot-width plank I had just crossed. Turns out he was right, and so I tried a lot more of the obstacles I'd initially thought were difficult.
By the end, I’d even completed the single rope course that you crossed holding short, varying level strands of rope to hold you steady (not sure if you can picture this, but maybe visit Sky Trail and you’ll know the one I mean).
By this stage, my 10 y.o. had completed every single obstacle more than once and was heading down. My husband, who isn’t a fan of heights was done and my 8 y.o. had completed a lot more obstacles than I thought he would. I was really proud of him.
Sky Trail taught me a number of lessons.
1. Break down your goals
Firstly, you don’t have to achieve your overriding goal in the first attempt. It can work much better to start with bite sized goals. Achieving smaller successes helps build your confidence and allows you to more comfortably bite off larger chunks.
2. Learn from others’ experience
If someone has done what you’re attempting before you, ask them about their experience. You don’t have to take on their advice, but it’s helpful to learn from them and to assimilate their ideas and suggestions. They may challenge your assumptions and this is often a good thing.
3. Don’t give up!
If you feel you’ve climbed a bit high earlier than you were ready for, there’s no shame in moving back a step or two in order to allow you to move forward with confidence when you’re ready.
4. Remember there’s always more than one way to enjoy an experience
We all tackled Sky Trail at our own level of comfort and confidence and we all enjoyed the experience. Don’t compare your experience and success to that of others. If you’ve overcome an obstacle that challenged you, be proud of that.
5. Safety first
Make sure you’ve got your safety harness on. There is always support and it’s sensible to use it when you need to. There were many obstacles we could have crossed without the harness and we would have been fine, but it was good know there was a bit of support there if we needed it.
So, choose your obstacle and work your way across. It feels fantastic when you reach the next platform!
Have a wonderful day.
Laurenne Di Salvo