The end of the year brings many things. It brings fun, socailising, family and friends, celebrations, endings and new beginnings. It also brings with it many expectations and with this, many find the Silly Season quite challenging.
It doesn’t matter if you’re religious or not, the end of one year and the beginning of the next often invites reflection. What have I achieved this year? Did I live up to my own expectations? What will I do differently next year? What do I even want from the new year?
Expectations around being social can challenge people too. Some people love an end of year party, a bbq, an opportunity to get together with others in a less formal environment. Others find this challenging and know putting themselves out there socially will take a bit of energy, physical and emotional. And then there are those who have one foot in both camps, they enjoy being social, but the number of social events can leave them drained and craving time alone.
Then there’s the family gatherings. Whilst for the majority, spending time with family brings joy, closeness and connection, we all know there’s no one better than our families to trigger us. We may find we fall into family roles that perhaps aren’t the ones we want to continue to play.
All of this points to the importance of practicing self-care. If you need to say ‘No’ to some social occasions, that’s ok. Say ‘No’. If you want to get out there and have fun, do that, but make sure you have time to sleep, to have days where you eat well and that you can just be. If you benefit from exercise, find a way to fit this in. Maybe enjoy a walking catch up, instead of meeting for coffee or lunch.
Try and be aware of your triggers so that you can be less reactive. Viktor Frankl tells us that there is space between stimulus and response. It’s in this space that we can choose how we respond. While much easier said than done, if we can tap into this, Frankl tells us this is our opportunity for growth and freedom. So, take a breath and allow yourself the space to choose how you respond to triggers at a time of year that will trigger many.
If you do find the silly season difficult, seek support. You don’t have to go it alone and do remember, you won’t be alone in finding this time of year challenging. Many do!
If you’re wondering what you want for the new year, think about the goal behind the goal. That is, not just what you want, but why you want it? What will it do for you? How will it benefit you? What will it allow you to let go of? Understanding the goal behind the goal allows you to tap into deeper motivations that may allow you to more easily realise your New Year’s Resolutions. But that’s a whole other Blog post, so stay tuned.
If you would like some support to start 2016 on track, call Laurenne on 0413 776 564 for a confidential chat about where you’re at now and where you’d like to be. She can support you to implement the plans, actions and mindset necessary to set you up for a year of personal growth, sustainable life change and enhanced wellbeing.
Enjoy the last weeks of 2016 and take the space you need to breathe!
Have a wonderful day.
It’s hard to wait for what you want, especially when you’re working hard to ‘make it happen’. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m not a super patient person. I can get a bit action oriented. Recently I’m being challenged around patience and I’m trying to rise to the challenge, to look it in the eye and say, ‘I’ve got this’, or at least ‘I can go with this even if it’s not my favourite space.’ I’m trying to trust. Trust myself, trust the universe, just trust.
There are a few things I’m doing to try help myself. I’m reminding myself to enjoy the moment. I’m doing some of things I’ve wanted to do for a long time and I haven’t had time to do and I’m clearing out the old and preparing space for the new. Energetically, I’m letting the universe know that I’m ready. I've set my intentions, I've done the groundwork and I'll keep working towards my goals. I'll also keep reminding myself that one of my actions is to be ok with inaction. This is actually not just ok, but is in fact really important. After you plant seeds, they need time to grow undisturbed!
What do you do when you feel impatient?
In a yoga class I attended earlier this year, the teacher explained that a key concept in yoga is ‘letting go.’ You gain flexibility through letting go of tension. If you’ve ever done yoga, you’ll know that you can move into a pose more easily as you breathe out. There’s a letting go of tension with the breath. You relinquish control. This letting go feels fantastic if we can go with it. It enables our bodies to bend, to flex and to move into postures we didn’t know we could manage.
So let’s explore this idea of letting go. We can get very attached to ideas about situations, about people, about ourselves, or to the idea itself. This can be true even if we don’t particularly like what we’re holding on to. There can be a level of grief around letting go, especially if we’ve held on for a long time. It’s important to acknowledge this and to understand that this is a normal part of change. It can be hard to let go! In yoga our bodies may resist. In life it may be our minds. The thing is, change can’t take place without a letting go. And once we manage this, we need to be prepared to sit empty for a time until the ‘new’ takes shape. If you force the change prematurely, you may end up with something you need to let go of again before long.
You may find too that you need to let go in stages. In yoga, you can often increase a stretch with each out breath. In life, you may need to let go of a little at a time in order to grow and achieve lasting change, to achieve a new form.
This isn’t to detract from how uncomfortable it can be to sit in the void that remains when you let go of something. Yet it’s worth considering that a void isn’t empty. Rather, it’s full of energy (a clever friend of mine suggested this). I think that perhaps rather than worrying about the lack of form, it’s helpful to concentrate on letting go of the need to mould the energy. Try to breathe out without worrying how far you will be able to stretch and just enjoy the process, or at least be comfortable to sit with the discomfort. If it’s not far enough, let go some more on the next breath. You may need to live with ambiguity for a while, but this is where growth takes place and you might just find that you are able to bend and flex into forms you never knew were possible.
So take a deep breath and then I encourage you to breathe out.
Laurenne Di Salvo